Friday, January 1, 2016

New Year - New Challenges

It's the New Year!


      I am trying to write while my near-25 pound-cat Alfred has draped himself over my lap.  (It is not fun to have that much weight stand on your thigh, believe me!)  There are so many things to do for the New Year.  I have a crap-ton of books to read, and I may review one or two.  It's pretty nice, because I'm working at Penguin-Random House, and thus am able to see all the new and interesting books that are being shipped out to the country and Canada.  These will include graphic novels, because there's no sense in boys having all the fun in reviewing such.  

      It's the usual time for making resolutions, only one of which I have accomplished from last year (getting a job).  I try to take it easy, because thinking you can change all by yourself is just as bad as thinking you don't need to change (just sayin').  But one resolution that I hope to do better with this year is to stop saying "sorry."

      Alfred just gave me an annoyed look - I stopped petting him. 

      I say sorry to the point that I've joked to others that I should have been Canadian (apologies to those fine consumers of bacon and maple syrup).  I say sorry if I fear someone's mad at me.  I say sorry with my actions when I'm trying to please people in the hopes that they like me.  While I've always been very self-conscious of my errors (having tattled on myself countless times when I was a kid), there's the typical OCD, and then there's the legalism.  Sovereign Grace Ministries lied to me, telling me, "Yes, God saved you, but you're a horrible, wretched sinner who needs Him everyday and must know x amount of Bible verses and constantly strive to do better."  That basically, I put Christ on the cross, and that I need to make it up to Him however and whenever I can.

      And I can't do that!


      I struggle to not feel bad over every mistake or flaw I make.  And yet, I echo the cry of one SGM survivor: I'm a saint, not a sinner!  (Ettinger)  

     So, for this year, I am trying to branch out in theology and life.  I've traded John Piper for Jen Hatmaker; Mahaney for Miller (Donald, not the beer - although that would be an interesting title for a book); and Sovereign "Grace" for sovereign love.  I don't claim to know everything, nor do I agree with everything expressed by everyone on the evangelical spectrum (I'm looking at you, Rachel Held Evans).  I'm just trying to make my heart a better place (with apologies to Daredevil).  
 

     And that starts with reading the book, For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards.




 Works Cited:

Ettinger, Hannah.  "Growing Up in SGM."  Rachel Held Evans.  Dan Evans.  June 27, 2013.